Me Too, Them Too, You Too

#metoo. apparently that touched a few nerves, not for those who had a #metoo story, but for those who don’t get it. Imagine that there are people who would question it, or that there are people who claim to love you, who would question why you told it and didn’t keep it the deep dark little secret that ate away at you for decades.

I wish my #metoo story was just one story, but it wasn’t. It was more than once. People don’t get that. Loved ones don’t get that.

They get caught up in blame. They wonder if you blame them. They wonder what you did to cause it. They wonder why you were not stronger, why you feel the need to share.

I shared because of my kids.I shared because I never wanted it to be my daughter, even while knowing that the odds meant it was possible. It was not about her strength. It was not about her character. It was possible because society blames the victim. People blame the victim. Families blame the victim.

I shared it because I was horrified at the thought that it could ever be my sons. No matter what I raised them to be, there was always the worry that societal messages would outweigh mine. Never prey on anyone, especially those who may be weak. Don’t rape. Don’t harass. Always respect. It sounds so easy, but for some reason it isn’t. People still blame the wrong people, even family, especially family.

I didn’t tell my kids before I shared. I told one person, one trusted, loved person. My kids read it and hugged me, loved me, and knew that writing it was something I needed to do, for me, not for anyone else.  And we never discussed it again. Because we didn’t need to. They got it.

I know too many with a story. I know too many who still believe that they cannot share. That is up to them. I wish they knew how much support was out there. I wish they knew how much love is out there. But I don’t judge. I wait. Patiently. For them to decide the time is right. Or it isn’t.

#metoo. You probably know someone with a story, even if you don’t realize it. Don’t judge. Don’t question. Just love and accept. And know that there is never a reason it is ok. Never. For no reason.

 

 

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