There are no accidents. I totally believe that. So let me try to tell you about my day. Without breaching confidentiality, because there was a lot of confidential stuff today personally and professionally.
First, I was able to spend a perfect day with two kids that I love beyond belief. They are a daily reminder of how blessed I am, even when it feels like my life is shitty. These kids have been in my thoughts a lot as I figure out my life. You know, because I’m 50 and I reflect regularly on how I should have discovered how to be a Kardashian before they figured that shit out.
Oh, I say shit a lot. And some other words too, but today that’s the go-to word.
Next. Another kid has been on my mind a lot lately. Mostly because I see conversations about addiction and people don’t get it. Some, just because they’re stupid and don’t want to get it. Some because its a tough thing to understand. I don’t understand it and I’ve lived it. But anyway, even though I like to believe its always about me, its not. Well, like 5% of the time its not, but even now I can make it about me because I’m the one writing this, so suck it if you really believe its not about me.
But, this kid. He OD’d in my house a few  years ago. I’ve written about him a lot. Yeah, go hit the search bar on my site. I ran out in my pajamas tonight because I had some other shit going on and I felt like everyone has pajamas and if people can’t handle seeing me in the store in my pajamas they should stay home. So I came out of the store and just felt eyes on me and not because of my fuzzy pants.
Yeah, it was this kid. He got out of his car and hugged me. And then I hugged him again. And I hugged him again. And then he hugged me again. And we said, “I love you,” a lot. And I hugged him again because I didn’t want to stop hugging him. He looked absolutely beautiful. Being alive does that for a person. And I will never forget the night when I watched him go from white to blue to, and…, well, he’s alive. Not only is he alive, but he is doing great things. So I hugged him again. And told him I loved him again. I wanted to hug him again, but I didn’t want to freak him out, so I resisted the urge. But, I did tell him that I loved him again.
Then I came home and thought about how I’ve been searching lately. Turning 50 makes you think about things. I’ve made a lot of mistakes. But I’ve also done a lot right. Just as I was thinking about that, something came across my Facebook feed that reminded me of some professional things, yeah, the confidential part.
So I did what any normal person would do and I wrote an email to my CEO. Ok, keep that between us. Technically I’m not breaking confidentiality, but its sort of nuts that I have nothing better to do on a Friday night than send some crazy emotional email to my CEO. I can’t tell you why I wrote him because then I’d have to breach confidentiality, but just know that he’s awesome and I wanted to say thank you.
Then I thought about the perfect day I had with those kids. Then I called my daughter, who didn’t pick up because, well, she’s busy living life at college. Then I spoke with a few friends, but one in particular who I just adore. No, that’s not to start a competition among my friends. I mean, if they want to fight over me, ok. But then I thought about how lucky I am.
So let me say it again. Wait. Did I say it? Life is good.
I spent a perfect day with kids I love. I ran into this beautiful kid I love. My kids are healthy and happy. I have amazing friends. I have great acquaintances. I love my job.
Life is good. Even if the Jets suck. Life is good.
Kristen Ferrari 