Life in Quarantine

It is only day 587 of this quarantine. My liver is probably gone. I’ve done some questionable things, from a social distance. And I’ve taken time to reflect on my life. Yeah. Great stuff.

First I will say this one thing. Thank God this shit didn’t happen when my kids were younger. I miss them being young. I miss little hands and sweet moments, but, how I thank God regularly that I’m not locked in a house with three little ones, two of them who thought that they were part of the WWE. Oh, and the constant eating, the peeing all over the bathroom, the never wanting to go to bed, and the mess. I’m not a neat freak, by any means, but the friggin mess. Thank you, God, for holding off until they were adults.

Second first. I promised myself that I am not going to end up on My 600 Pound Life at the end of this and have made a point to run, walk, bike, and do some form of exercise every single day. Yeah, with a mask on, even if our federal government hems and haws on whether or not that is necessary. And my essential grocery runs involve no junk food, just liquor. That’s a serious concession.

Anyway, since there isn’t really much to do I’ve been paying attention to social media. Dads are drinking and high fiving and basically enjoying life. Moms are questioning every minute of their day. Is it ok that I didn’t make breakfast? Is it ok that I let them eat cereal for dinner? What if they didn’t brush their teeth? And it makes me cringe.

Moms, stop questioning yourselves. We’re all in the same boat. Well, except those of us who were lucky enough to not be living the Terrible Twos and teenage years during this shit. But basically those of us with older kids, at least those of us who aren’t assholes, will tell you to relax. Let them eat dirt for dinner. Who cares? They’ll survive. Go have a glass of wine, or eight. Go get laid. No, don’t break quarantine. I’m talking about those of you who have a husband or partner that lives there. I mean, married couples have been practicing this social distancing thing for years, but there’s some of you who still want a little. Go get some.

We’ll get through this. Those of you with toddlers and adolescents and even teenagers will love your kids again. They’ll grow up to love you, pee in the toilet, and actually do other productive things. I promise you. Mine have and you don’t know the horror that some of mine put me through.

For now, I’m working in leggings. I just ordered a new pair and they’re everything. But I also know people who have suffered loss, tremendous loss, and I’m grateful that my loss is about superficial things like eyelashes and nails. I’m healthy. My kids are healthy. And right now, that’s bonus stuff.

So take a breath. Do what you need to do to get through this. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself a break. Forgive yourself for having a meltdown. This is new for all of us. We’ll get through it. And know that there are people out there who care.

Note – If you need help, it is out there. Please call.