This quarantine sucks. I know I’m not the only one tired of being stuck in the house. Even with phases moving us into a little foray into Home Goods, we’re still basically locked down. The hard part is, well, there are a lot of hard parts, but the part where I can’t go to work or the gym or to a restaurant, or any of the things I’d go do to not be sitting home dwelling, well those are hard parts. And obviously going without mani/pedis and hair and eyelashes, well, as superficial as it sounds, those were killer! But the real hard part, I mean, next to the hard part of being stuck at home, bored out of my mind, or AF, as the kids say, and having nothing else to do but entertain the inevitable text that comes from the ex that I had been very successful at forgetting. Even worse? Actually being the one to send the text. Yeah. That was me.
And I get it. The whole ex business is nothing new. We’ve all been through it. There are bigger things to worry about right now, but since I moved to a place that’s not in the nails and eyelash stage, this is where I’m at.
So. I LOVE my alone time. As in LOVE. I love being home, writing, doing work, looking up stupid stuff on the internet. But I also LOVE human interaction. I don’t just mean in the romantic sense. I need to see people I care about, my kids, my friends, people I work with, acquaintances, strangers on the street, PEOPLE! Being locked down was necessary. I accepted that. Still, I was climbing walls.
I was good though. I only sent crazy emails and texts to a minimum amount of people. I did some Facetime drinkfests. I online shopped, like a pro. I made a playlist that seamlessly moves from Tom Petty to Clapton to A Boogie. Oh, and somehow in the midst of all of this, I found a really great place that I am in the process of moving into. Basically, I was taking lemons and, well, you know.
And then it happened. The outdoor dining phase and a new local dive bar that brought back some memories and there I was texting someone that, well, I never disparage exes, especially on the internet, but well, someone that I’m better off leaving in the past. And true to form, he was, well, he was him.
He was him and I wasn’t surprised, but it made me wonder about the future. I mean, how long is this going to go on? The thought of meeting someone new during COVID? Yeah, no. But how long before it is all over and I can get my groove back. (Thank you Stella!)
Where are people discussing this? Most of my friends are married so their main issue is too much time together or toilet seats being up or down, not wondering the next time someone is going to curl their toes or how long before the first kiss or, well, how many dates before you know… Btw, its been a while, so I’m cutting that number down! Like way down.
Numbers are spiking. People have died, are still dying, that’s important stuff. I get it. But I want to kiss someone. I want romance again. I want to be able to go out and have fun and laugh and flirt. Safely.
I’ll get over the stupid text I sent. I knew it was a mistake even before I hit send, which, btw, I did anyway. I just miss life pre-COVID. I, like everyone else, just want it to be over, and in the past, like the romances that just didn’t fit.
Kristen Ferrari 